The Vault Experiments were never designed to SAVE anypony. They were social experiments, designed to study pre-set sections of the population. For instance, there was Vault 69 (giggety) which contained 999 mares and one stallion. Too bad that one stallion was gay.
Or, imagine this: Vault 43, which was inhabited by ten mares, twenty stallions, and a fully grown dragon.
The list goes on and on. Vault 13, which was supposed to have gone on forever had it not been for the water chip malfunction. Vault 101, which was to never be opened, and was ruled under the iron hoof of the overseer.
However, we are not talking about those vaults. Instead, we are talking of one particular Vault. Vault 77.
The Vault door closed behind Twilight Sparkle. Something was amiss. The message had told her that her friends had shown up to the vault, but there was no pony there.
"Hello?" she called out, but only cold steel and silence met her voice.
This is the tale of Vault 77. Population: 1 Mare and a Box of Puppets.
One Hour After Lock-in:
Twilight Sparkle banged her hooves on the vault door. "Hey! You forgot all the other fucking ponies! Let me out!"
Two Weeks After Lock-In:
"Dear Princess Celestia, Ha ha. You really got me. Now let me out." Twilight finished writing her letter on an old soup can. "Spike, send- oh, right."
Four Months After Lock-In:
Twilight had been crying for days, not sure of what to do. Crying seemed like the best option, so that's what she did.
Ten Months, Fifteen Days and Six Hours After Lock-In:
"I am keeping a journal to publish once they let me out of this hell-hole so I can become rich. Day one: The soup can has been acting more distant than usual. I fear it plans to kill me."
One Year, Two Months and Seventeen Days after Lock-In:
Twilight had resorted to eating her own hair, even though there was plenty of food next to her. It reminded her of Rarity.
One Year, Three Months and Twelve Days After Lock in:
Twilight slowly trotted over to it. The thing she had feared ever since setting her hoof into the vault so long ago. It sat there, unassuming, yet so sinister. She hated it. It hated her. The two stared at each other in mutual hate for what seemed like forever. Well, both of them had forever. They had all the time in Equestria to hate each other.
Twilight sighed, and opened the box with the words "Government Issued Emergency Puppet Ration" on the side and pulled out the hoof puppets.
One Year, Three Months and Twelve Days After Lock-In:
Twilight wiggled the puppets around. "Ok... so, I guess you're some kind of dog... and you're a king, I guess..." Twilight felt incredibly lonely. The pony with the crown upon its head looked a bit lonely too. Twilight knew it had to be done. Without any further adue, Twilight began to viscously make out with the dog puppet.
One Year, Four Months After Lock-In:
Twilight felt embarrassed by her lapse of judgment the other day. It had been near three weeks, and yet... she could feel the other puppets jealousy. To put that all behind her, she continued on with daily business.
Holding up the dog puppet, she moved its mouth with magic, and said "Bow wow." Using her other hand, she did the same with the king, and said "I am the king. Now make me a sandwich." A maniacal grin spread over Twilight's face. Her subconscious told her not to do this, it would make her go crazy, but she already knew that. It wasn't like ten minutes would hurt.
One Year, Five Months, Seven Days After Lock-In:
"It's the king's birthday!" Twilight shouted as she check the calendar. "Did you hear that Reverend Dog? Granny's baking a pie!" Reverend Dog barked, like he always did, and Twilight laughed. She strolled over to Granny's to see how the pie was doing.
"Ah, Twilight!" Granny levitated a pie over to Twilight. "Please, would you be a deary and give this to the king? I'm expecting company."
"Sure thing, Granny!" Twilight took the pie with her magic and trotted over to the king's room.
"Ah, welcome Twilight, my most faithful subject!" The king sniffed the air. "Ah, so you've brought me a pie! How kind of you to remember my birthday!"
Twilight blushed. "Oh, it was nothing really. Granny made the pie and all."
"Well, then. Come! Join me! You took the trouble of coming all the way over here, you should get some pie as well!"
Twilight bit into the pie. It was cold, and tasted like an old rusty can.
Laying on the floor, surrounded by puppets, Twilight continued to eat the rusty can, convinced it was a delicious Apple Pie.
Over Two Years After Lock-In:
Twilight had long since controlled her insanity. The King's Birthday incident was just that: A Terrible, terrible incident which would never happen again. She had kept herself sane by watching the various movies, TV shows, and reading the various books and playing the various video games that the entertainment center provided. However, as she walked by the Box which had caused all the drama, she heard something unsettling.
"Psst. Down here."
Twilight looked down in the box. It was a puppet version of the Vault Stallion, and Blonde-maned cartoon character which represented most things about vault life. He was very popular before the vaults had been put into action.
"What? You can talk? WHY ARE YOU TALKING?"
"Why are you talking?" the puppet answered back snidely.
"You talked to me first!"
"Well, so? Anyway, I want to help you out."
Twilight looked around for something to burn the puppet with, but only found some gum and a bottle of water. It would have to do. Frantically, she doused the puppet with water, and attempted to set him alight with the gum. Needless to say, it didn't work.
The puppet grinned. "Oh, the fun we'll have."
An Unknown Time After Lock-In: Presumed to be Around the Time of Two Years and Seven Months
Twilight dreamt of her friends. Pinkie Pie was throwing a party. There was cake, and pies with rusty cans inside them along with a dance floor, and a disco ball. Twilight and Princess Celestia both wandered out underneath the disco ball as their eyes met, slowly the two mares' mouths grew closer and closer until-
"HELP! REGICIDE! THE KING HAS BEEN MURDERED!"
Twilight shot out of bed and ran into the front hall, gathering Granny Puppet and Reverend Dog Puppet along the way.
"Oh dear!" Granny Puppet screamed.
Twilight looked at the awful sight. The Puppet King's head was ripped off, and his fluffy guts were strewn all about. "Dear Sweet Celestia!"
"That's... horrifying! Oh dear Celestia, I'm going to be sick!" Reverend Dog started to gag.
"I swear to Luna that I will find the murderer!" Twilight pledged, then went off to find The Vault Stallion puppet. He was laying by the bed, smoking a pipe.
"Ah yes, dear Twilight, do come in."
Twilight gave the puppet a horrified look. Could he have been-?
"I need to ask you a question. I need you to be honest with me."
The puppet put down his pipe, his eternally smiling face rustling Twilight's Jimmies.
"Are you sure you want to know the answer?"
Twilight grabbed the puppet. "What did you do?"
The puppet stared its creepy, smiling stare. "What did WE do."
Twilight looked around, her sanity declining once more. "You're a murderer!"
"And you're an accomplice."
"I wouldn't! I couldn't! I..."
The puppet stared unblinkingly into Twilight's twitching eyes. "You did."
Twilight then realized the magnitude of the situation. "What did we do? Oh my- Reverend Dog!"
The puppet hoped from Twilight's hoof, and grabbed his pipe.
"We leave tonight."
Twilight had long since taught herself to hack into any computer database view all the books that had been stashed in the library, and it was an easy feat to unlock the vault door. Preparing herself for the first time outside in close to three years, she felt her heart race as the vault creaked open, and the first natural light in song long fell upon her.
Stepping outside, she saw a scorpion the size of a mountain holding two houses in each claw right outside the vault door.
Rushing back inside and slamming the vault door shut, Twilight proposed another idea to The Vault Stallion Puppet.
"Or, we could sleep on it. It's a big decision we're making."